You can have her.

With the latest health care reforms our government is in the process of instilling, my Redneck Cousin Eileen and her husband Rusty have decided to move to Canada.

Eileen: "There's lots of jobs in Canada, the timber industry is hiring a lot of people."

I tried to explain that you can't just get a job that easily, especially in a foreign country.

Eileen: "I know four or five people who have moved to Canada and they got jobs right away."

Me: "No, it doesn't work like that. You can't just move to a foreign country and start working."

Eileen: "It's true, you just get a job right away."

Me: "No."

Eileen: "Yeah!"

Me: "No."

Eileen: "Yeah!"

Me: "No. If you do that, you'll be working illegally. You have to have a green card, visa, work permit or something like that. Just like when you get a job here, the HR department asks if you're a citizen and if not, to provide proof you can work in the country."

Eileen: *Silence* "Well, all we need is $20,000 then, and we can become citizens of Canada."

I don't know where this dollar figure came from, but this is coming from the person who can't afford to pay her own health insurance.