Surgery

My Redneck Mom recently discovered she had a tick on her back. Well, not on it, but buried down under her skin. It all started when she felt something on her back and decided to rub against the door frame to soothe the itch. The next day, her back felt tender and painful to the touch. She had her sister, Redneck Aunt Ruby, come over to take a look and discovered she had rubbed off the body of a tick and the head was buried down in her flesh!

Thankfully, my Redneck Cousin Emalyn has some experience in this field (considering she is the health care provider for her cattle - not that I'm calling Mom a cow), so she and Ruby got together and decided to perform surgery on Mom.

"They used every knife they could find in my kitchen, plus my two pocket knives and some tweezers, but they were all dull. Boy it really hurt when they were digging in!"

(I just remembered how we used Mom's steak knives at dinner last night and I feel sick.)

Anyway, so after a couple hours of performing surgery with dull kitchen knives, my Redneck Cousin Emalyn got the tick out, poured some bleach on the wound and put on a Hello Kitty bandage with some Neosporin. And that is how you perform out-patient redneck surgery.

Also, now I'm excited because I know what I'm getting my Redneck Mom for her birthday - a knife sharpener!!