Redneck games

Bored? I feel your pain. I grew up on an isolated ranch in the mountains without television reception. Thus, my sister and I had to be creative when it came time to entertaining ourselves. Take for instance, a game called Chicken Torture.

First, we would catch and calm down a chicken. Calming a chicken down is easy, just flip it over and there you have it. Calm. Next, tie a piece of hay bale twine to a post and then tie the other end to the chickens leg. Set him down on the ground and watch him run away and then get yanked off his feet! Yee haw! After a few tries, the chicken will give up and just lay there on the ground - even after you untie him. Ooh wee is that a lot of fun for a couple of podunk redneck kids!

Even more fun, get your Redneck Great Grandpa involved (when Grandma isn't looking) and have him make mouth harp noises while the chicken is trying to run away!

Something else you can do is wait until a good wintry day when the pond is frozen over, then call the chickens at feeding time and throw the chicken food on the ice! Chickens will go aflying and skidding everywhere.

Oh yeah, great fun!

....

You can take the girl out the country, but not the country out the girl.

I can't help that I'm related to rednecks. In fact, once in a while I do something rednecky too. Last week after my boyfriend and I arrived at my Redneck Mom's house at 11:30PM at night, we had to pee so bad that we walked down each of the driveways and peed at the end to "send a message to the coyotes."

I'm not sure what that message would be, but hopefully it keeps them at bay a little longer.

It's a disease, really.